My name is Jessica Da Silva and I’m a Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach, a certified NLP, EFT, T.I.M.E. Techniques & Hypnosis Practitioner and former Marriage and Family Therapist. I’m also a blog contributor to platforms such as Elephant Journal, MeetMindful and AboutThatLookMag and podcast host for Mindful Loving Project, where I provide a platform for people to share their personal stories of how they’ve turned painful life experiences into peace, power and purpose.
Having experienced and overcome 18 years of toxic relationships, I’ve dedicated my knowledge and expertise in coaching women how to overcome their own patterns of toxic relationships, reclaim their power & identity and experience healthy love.
For me it was a generational pattern. All the women in my family line suffered abuse, whether physical, verbal or emotional, in their relationships, and I could clearly see the implications it had down the family line. I wanted to break that pattern. I wanted to heal these generational wounds in order to create and experience healthy love for myself and those to come.
You see, I didn’t know what a good relationship was…
I had a father who wasn’t very physically or emotionally present in my life and a mother who would project her painful emotions onto me and my younger siblings.
Distance, shame, guilt, lies, manipulation, name calling, passivity, cheating and physical pain were all normal to me, and therefore I accepted (and projected) these same toxic behaviors in my relationships to come.
It’s why I endured 15 years of pain with a boy I fell in love at the age of 14.
Why I sabotaged my marriage at the age of 19, with someone who was so dear and sweet.
And why I tolerated another year of the worst abuse I’ve experienced at the age of 28.
At that point I had had enough.
“What was wrong with me?? Why am I so f%*ked up??”
I knew I wanted more for my life, and I knew that what I was experiencing was not okay, but I didn’t know how to progress.
Towards the end of my last relationship, I applied to one graduate program for Marriage and Family Therapy, as it was always a dream of mine to become a Mental Health Therapist, and to my surprise I got accepted.
That opportunity not only gave me the confidence to leave my relationship behind, but it also allowed me to see myself in a new light. I knew that if I were to enroll in this program, I would have to step into a new version of myself. And although it was exciting, I was scared to death!
Because the truth is, we are much more inclined to stay in the comforts of what we know (even if that comfort is painful), than to take a leap into the unknown where all of our possibilities reside.
Well, leaving that relationship behind and beginning my road to recovery was the best decision I have ever made for myself.
I spent the next two years of my life alone…Just reading, studying, traveling, doing yoga, photography, self-development seminars, lots of introspection, all the things…It was also the first time I allowed myself to thoroughly feel my emotions and be with my pain.
I adopted Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy strategies to help me in the beginning phases of my healing…And later became certified in Neuro Linguistic Programming, Emotional Freedom Technique, T.I.M.E. Techniques and Hypnosis to further aid in my transformation by installing new and supportive beliefs into my subconscious mind.
This transformation not only helped me find my individuality and my self-worth, but it ultimately led me to my relationship now…And I couldn’t be more grateful for the amazing partner I have today.
This is why I feel so passionate about my purpose, because I have been in the trenches, not seeing the light or the possibility of something different for my life, and it took me almost losing my life for me to finally CHOOSE ME.
If you have made it thus far in reading my story and are still unsure if a healthy life or a healthy love is available for you, I’m here to tell you that IT IS!
And I’m here to guide you through it, each step of the way.
Because guess what, love? You were meant for more. You are meant to be the best version of yourself, and have someone by your side who only brings out the best in you. But only you can take that step and do the work necessary to have the life you deserve.
And lucky for you, I got you covered! Click this link to learn more about my Healthy Self-, Healthy Love 1:1 Coaching Package. I promise that you won’t regret it.